Thursday, June 01, 2006

3 Fast Issues

1. WOW! How about that! The Dixie Chicks are #1! Mr. O'Reilly, how do you like your crow cooked? Not only are they number one on Billboard and, but they are also the most popular group on Rhapsody.

2. I've been thinking . . . wouldn't it be something to have a "National Sing-a-Long" protest? On a given day people meet at their various state capitals and sing these protest songs, including "Dear Mr. President" (Pink), "Lives In the Balance" (Jackson Browne), "Asshole" (Jim's Big Ego), and "Not Ready to Make Nice" (Dixie Chicks), no speeches, just songs, sort of like a Flash Mob. And these four songs a singable by many voices, neither too high or too low.

3. A few weeks ago, now, my ex-husband, a Vietnam Vet, had a motorcycle accident. His wife, who was on the bike with him, just broke her leg. He on the other hand, well, he is lying in a coma, and not expected to ever wake.

Now I have written about the PTSD he suffered as a result of his tour on Americablog comments. I have written about the violence in marriage, also on Americablog comments. What I haven't written is that he and I reconciled last year.

Even without the domestic abuse, we would probably have never made it. What we each wanted out of life was irreconcilable. The directions were almost diametrically opposed. In divorce and our subsequent marriages to others we both got what we wanted.

Now he lies in a hospital bed on full life support. I play a supporting role to my 2 kids from that marriage, now adults. I also am trying to support his wife. While there is a living will there is also hesitance based on what one thinks that they are seeing. Thoughts of the Terry Schiavo battle have often come to mind and his wife, his biological children, step children, sister and brother all weigh their emotions, reality and dreams and hopes that they are not ready to give up yet.

And I mourn. It feels kind of strange, there is no manual on how an ex is supposed to mourn their one time spouse. Yes, I have an understanding spouse who knew that I would mourn, even more than I thought I would. But I’m in a margins, my kids, his wife and that family are the ones in the spotlight, on the hot seat and making decisions that I hope I never have to make. Being in the background has curses, and it’s blessings.

It's a strange time.

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